I Write, Therefore I Am

I Write, Therefore I Am is the fourth chapter of Fun with Vampires. It features the only instance in which characters and The Author interact.

Content
Arthur longknuckle was an ordinary man.

He lives in a small, yellow house off the cornor of Albury avenue and enjoys chewing gum, watching sci fi comedies and seperating his garbage into: recycle, rubbish, garden, recycle with a touch of rubbish, rubbish with a touch of garden,recycle with a touch of garden and all three together. This assortment of rubbish bins usually greatly beffudled and confused his local rubbish man, Phil, and caused numerous letters from the international federation of rubbish men.

He didn't care.

He ignored the letters.

He loved the way the lovly little electrical arm clanked its way down to the parade of bins, and eptied each seven of them into the vast metal rectangular prism.

if the arm got stuck, even better. Once the men exited the truck to fix the arm, he would have someone to talk to

“lovely day for kites, eh?” or “Did you know that scientists have estimated that in fourty years we shall be able to land on mars? comletely rubbish if you ask me” were some of his favourite conversation starters.

One dday, however, Arthur woke up and felt exedingly different, almost as if he were a different person.

Arthur started to yawn his traditional four yawns (three to wake up, and one for love). But he obviously did not feel for love that particular morning, for he paused on the third and looked around

“hello?” he asked

“were am i?” he asked again, quite the questioner if you ask me. Why just last night when he finished his sixth horisontal brushes directly after his six diagonal brusjes he-

“whos saying that” arthur asked

“whats that about me brushing six diagonal and six horisontal, i dont.......... by the way”

Can you see the difference? because you see, this morning out of all the others in his life, Arthur Longknuckle has become narratively aware

“narratively aware, wha?” said Arthur

“whos saying that”

“wheres Holly, the Professor, Chupo, Toasterwaffles and to a lesser extent Stephan?”

I told you,you are now naratively aware, now that you know you are a fictional book character, you should understand that anything can happen, and its up to me how this story starts and ends

“prove it!” said Arthur, crossing his arms crosly

Alright, in exactly ten seconds, twenty four pidgeons with war helmets carrying large ant eaters will crash threw your window accompanied by sinnging rocks and an assortment of elphants, all with large dragon flies impaled on there tusks.

“oh sure, you can't expect me to truthfully believe-”

nine-eight-seven-six

“Its imposible for anything of sort to ever-”

four-three-two

one

zero

twenty four pidgeons with war helmets carrying large ant eaters crashed threw the window accompanied by singing rocks and an assortment of elephants with large impaled Dragon flies.

see, i was right and you were wrong

“oh my god, i am a book character?”

yes

“wow, i will never forget this”

Yes you are not only a book character, but my book character, say your stupid

“im stupid” said Arthur, he shook his head “don't” he said

Also, i can't have a book character that knows he is a book character, forget this.

Arthur longknuckle stared dazed into the horisen for a little, then continued his yawning. He was going to have a perfectly normal day.

After his yawning he conversed in his daily stretchers, pulling each onne of he's muscles and groaning in pain.

After he mentally made a note to never do his stretchers again he fixed himself a meal,mostly consisting of soy milk and roasted carrots. he quickly swallowed them, not really tasting. As he ran to get dressed, he flinched as the burning hot carrots blistered his interior.

He dressed up in long striped track pants and a black t shirt that stretched down to his knees, he didn't care, he liked baggy articles of clothing.

As he opened the door, he noticed a small squek in the joints

you could use some oiling after work he thought to himself

As he trudged threw the damp pave ment, he glanced involuntary at his wrist watch

8:30

He was late

“dam” he said and started sprinting towards the butchers shop

The little bell tinkered as he pushed the stained door open

That door greatly irritated, it squeked and creaked horibly and had multiple cracks and gashes in its blood stained glass panes.

He personally, if it weren't his job, would never enter this place with the fear of being sliced and diced like those poor animals.

He could see it now, sliced Arthur longknuckle disguised as.................. as........................... as....................... chickens.

He had now forgoten his previous thought, only with the word chicken in his head. Wich greatly irritated him for he hated the taste of chicken. Trying to remember, he pictured a large conveyer belt pulling along peoples luggage whil a flashing sign in the background bore the letters 'please wait' he didn,t know why, he just did.

As he walked in his boss, Mr Houndedbird, stamped angrily towards him

“third day in a row” he said to Arthur, Arthur noticed once more that his orange bushy moustache was once again soaked with spit from talking, Arthur didn't know why he noticed these things, he just did.

“whats your excuse this time?” said Mr houndedbird, raising a chuby finger

“no wait, let me guess, your actually a book character and you woke up naritively aware? is that it?”

The comment sparked some form of recognition and resemblance, but once again he saw nothing but the luggage filled conveyor belt.

“no sir” he said, muttering to his shoes.

Twelve minutes later, Arthur had pulled on his apron and hair net.

Now at the counter,, he drummed his fingers tunelessly as he waited for some customers.

The door swung open and a strange dressed man ran in

“Why whats this?” he said to him self as he examined a hanging pigs leg

“cheese Gromit” said a wonky looking sock puppet pulled over his arm

Then Arthur remembered. That was Stephan swiftman.

He remembered his adventures in the unkown zone, his friends and his enemys.

He remembered his sight and then a particulary strange encouter with his Auther.

“Stephan Swifttman” Arthur yelled

Stephan turned his head in Arthur's direction

“YOU CAN'T SILENCE ME YOU STUPID AUTHER!” Arthur yelled at the sky

Really, silence

Arthur opened his mouth to state a comback, but his mouth opened and closed without words coming out.

He stared at his throught and yelled something which only really should be said while youv lost your voice.

He needed Stephans attention, If he could make stephan remember to, they could find the others. He grabed a white board and a marker and ran to stephan who had unstrung the leg and was now having a tea party with it

Arthur tapped him on the back

“whateverswrong?” asked stephan

Arthur pulled up the white board and wrote in a messy scrable 'Stephan, do you remember anything about Arthur longknuckle, Walter chesnut or the unknown zone?'

Stephan stared at him for a while

he opened his mouth to speak, but aint i a devil? his voice was silenced like Arthurs.

And why don't we? With a poof Arthur was a penguin and stephan was giant pen.

The shop windows burst open as living news papers jumped in and danced around the piles of meat

Arthur found his voice and tried to talk, but a quaking noise only protruded from his mouth.

The door was suddenly punctured with thousands of miniscule holes and burst open as thirty three snipers ran in.

Stephan stared down at his long, inky body and started hopping towards the exit, Arthur followed.

As you can well imagine, a waddling penguin and a hopping pen isn't quite the fastest duo on the history of Earth, So the door was quickly barred by three ready dragons.

Arthur suddenly turned into the rare chinese giant Salamander while Stephan turned into an anteater.

The two where blown to the ground by a garlic bomb and then they both turned into fish, Arthur a cat fish and stephan a salmon.

They flopped and flipped on the ground.

A large loud speaker walked out the backroom

'''oh when the sky, shall fall on our head, ''

''I shall still love you alll ''

''In the bri-ight depths of Heeeaaaven. ''

''Then when we are mutated into ''

''genetic ressurected zombies, ''

''our bond shall still be too strong to break, still. ''

Then when we are confronted by 

''Giant centepedes on the planet ''

''buuuuuuuuu-guuuuuuu-laaaaaaaaaaa ''

''we shall still be together ''

''

''

''so know i sing ''

''Swords and shields were destroyed by YOUNGLING power ''

''swords and shields were destroyed by YOUNGLING power ''

''swords and shields were destroyed by YOUNGLING power' ''

The two fish were returned to human form and teleported away.

When the darkness of teleportation faded, Arthur found himself in a dark cell with stephan in the corner was a small computer. Stephan ran around in circles around the room

“wow, i never thought id ever go inside a REAL turtle shell” said Stephan

Arthur examined the room, he ran to the computer

“stephan, if we were in a book, what would it be called?”

“i dunno, solomcmahon and the living pickle?”

Arthur thought

''The unknown zone? the sight? ''

Arthur thought back, back to the very first chain of effents. He had killed a vampire. Vampire. VAMPIRE.

he typed vampires into the search engine

Vampires- wikipedia the free encyclopedia no 

Goths no 

My eyes are red? am i turning into a vampire?- yahoo answers no 

''maybe something else ''

He typed in 'vampirs, the sight, Arthur Holly, stephan, the Professor, Chuppo and Toaster waffles'

He taped enter

''no matches found for 'vampires, the sight, Arthur, Holly, Stephan, The Professor Chupo and Toaster waffles” ''

he tried something shorter

'vampires, Arthur with the sight'

Several links came up.

After scroling threw them he found something:

FUN WITH VAMPIRES

Arthur longknuckle, Holly eckenrock, Stephan swiftman, The professor,Chupo and Toaster waffles set of on an adventure threw the barren and deadly unknown zone to kill the evil Walter chessnut and give Arthur the powers of the sight.



Arthur went back to the search engine and typed in

'FUN WITH VAMPIRES, naratively aware'

FUN WITH VAMPIRES, i write there fore i am

 ''Arthur wakes up one morning to find that he is in fact not walking along the unknown zone ''

 but instead an ordinary man with- '''click to see more '''

'''

'''

Arthur double clicked on the link and scroled threw the description.

He found a sub heading saying 'i write, there fore i am' chapter four

Arthur woke up one morning to find that he was an ordinary man with a ob at the butchers shop and an unusual tendancy to make sure everything is clean. When he spots his strange companion Stephan Swiftman and trries to communicate with him, they both find out what an author can do when he wants. He And Stephan then find themselves in a small cell and attempt to find out about there book by looking it up on the computer. They then find out that the author of there book cannot actually stop them from finding there friends and controling them because the fans-'

Arthur froze on the computer and turned towards the sky

dam, hes found out

better teleport them back

As the blackness of teleportation once again closed over them, they apeared in the butcher shop once more.

The snipers had now disapeard and the news papers were playing chess.

''clear. ''

They disapeard.

“so you can't actually stop us from exiting this spell?” said Arthur mockingly

“hahaha, Arthurs yelling at the roof” said stephan

Not as such

“then can't you just make our friends apear now and save us the trouble of finding them?”

i can't

“why not?” yelled Arthur”you have to help us remember?”

a computer apeard in front of Arthur

see for yourself

The computer beeped on to the sight Arthur was on before

“-the fans would be unhappy, also he must not either skip so much and just teleport hiss friends so he can reach his full chapter page quota'

it read

see, i can only assist in minor things.

“can you tell us where our friends are?”

no

“damm”

but i can show them were you are

“what?”

I can contact them myself and lead them to you

Holly Eckenrock was an ordinary girl. She lived in the fourty seconth floor of the royal pines resort. aside from its posh name, the royal pines resort was not particularly the classiest hotel in the world. Drunks caused many of the hotels ocupants (apart from other drunks) to be literaly frightened to leave at night. Time to Time fights would also break out and Holly swore she once heard a few gunshots. The pool had been closed for construction for almost five years and three of those no one apeard to show up, because of that the pool lay long forgotten under the many layers of mould. For these reasons and many more, people didn't tend to stay at the hotel for very long at all, but some just couldn't afford a new place. Holly was on of these people. she worked at a local cafe which wasn't going well lately after a customer found a live scorpian in there coffee. after the cafe was sued not only by the terrified customer but also the coffee seard scorpian,not many people ever really came strangely. This evening how ever, ten customers (an all time record!) showd up to the diner and each payed a considerable amount. After a celebration of bargain beer at homebrand muffins, Holly walked home.

If those ten customers in fact were real and lived an excedingly long age, Arthur, Stephan, Holly, the professor and Toaster waffles owe them a lot more then they owed the diner.As Holly walked home from a celebration of slightly sugard water and homebrand muffins, she passed an interesting looking theater as she passed a corner with the new movie 'goats were never meant to be eaten' showing.Intruiged, she entered the theater and baught tickets for the movie.

every second away from the hotel is well spent second she thought to herself as she entered the cinema. �

Narrowly avoiding kicking the darn seat after it flipped up when she sat down, she found another less iritating chair.

The opening sene of the movie was of two couples kissing in an old care. As a shooting star flew over the horisen a large flying saucer apeard and zapped the car.

one hour later

The movie finished with the last of the aliens being blasted by a goat

“the goats saved us!” yelled the president

“goats were never meant to be eaten” said the goat

“good bye”

The goat kicked off the ground and flew of into the sky.

Then the movie ended.

The sound of voices filled the cinema and the sounded of popcorn being steped on as they left. Holly got up and trudged out. as she left, astrange looking bird flew past her. She followed it until it lead her out into a dark alley. As it turned, Holly saw that it had a spotted snout and fur

“what am i?” it asked

“what am i?”

Recognition slowly formed in Hollys head and the final burst of memory burst threw her head

vampires

The unknown zone

Arthur

The Professor

Stephan

chupo

genetical mishaps

boghart

Toaster waffles

''Toaster waffles ''

The strange tiger-bird thing in front of her

“Toaster waffles?” holy said

But the traumitised mishap needed more to backtrack the life in this world

He had been traped in a circus for many years, being lauphed and yelled at.

“stagel hallt?” said Holly

“murbolk, a giant bee?”

“genetic mishaps?”

Recognition struck

“Holly?” he said

“good morning” she said

“we need to find the others” said Holly

“do you know where they are?”

nows were i come in

“who said that?”

me

“whos me?”

you

“me?”

yes, me

“but who are you?”

i told you m-

“ok then, where are you?”

no were

“how can you be nowhere?”

because i am the Auther

“what do you mean author?” said toaster waffles

you know, author books

“all books were destoryed years ago for the high readings of asbestos”

yeah well, this is an asbestos free books

“yeah well, you stink” said toaster waffles

“but if your a 'author' prove it” said Holly

“and stop saying 'said holly' after everything i say” said holly

“stop”

i dont want to

and i will prove i am your Author

Holly and toaster waffles turned into giant toucans

then background

“just because you turned us into giant birds doesn't mean your the author” said toaster waffles, holly glanced at him

“actually now that i think about it, it kind of proves it”

Arthur and stephan need you

“arthur!” said holly

after a minute of silence, toaster waffles remembered his cue

“oh, um, uuuh, stephan!”

i can help you find them

“we are perfetly capable of finding them ourselves” said toaster waffles

dude, do you actually think i could posibly take a flying frakenstein seriously

“we are” said Holly

ok, i can take you a little more seriously

but you still need my help

“nu uh” said toaster waffles

yeah uh

“nu uh”

yeah uh

“nu uh”

nu uh

“yeah uh”

haha, you said yeah uh

“nu uh, i said nu uh”

well you did just then at the start of your sentence

and if you dont need my help, then i guess i'll just leave you to your 'hungry coven of vampires '

Twenty luminous figures apeared behind the mist

oh and did i happen to mention that these vampires are actually super vampires and the only thing that can kill them is this plasmonium gun that i just made float between each one of your hands, but if you dont want my help then i guess you'll just have to die

“what a strange coincidence that the super race of vampires only happen to be killed by the exact same thing that is floating in front of us, and they only seemed to appear when the author mentioned them, i'd even say it was planned” said toaster waffles

“yes how strange” said holly sarcastically as she unstraped a large knife from her cooking apron that by chance she forgot to take off before she left work.

The vampires were now completely visble. They were very different from the normal because instead of vampiraciality mangling there facial features it seemed to make there faces stunningly beautiful

Holly threw the knife at a small female vampire. The knife sunk into her head and blood poured on the ground, but she merely growled and pulled the knife out.

Holly tried again and threw a wooden spoon towards toaster waffles, he jabbed his teleportation feet towards it and it apeard sticking out a large brawny males chest. The male like the girl just puled it out and the skin melded together, leaving nothing but a large rip in his shirt

“um................. uuuuhhhhhhhhhhh........... holly, i-i think, well, since neither swords or plant matter do so much as a rip in there clothes, m-m-maybe we should just use the nice mans guns” said toaster waffles

no to late, im offended now

the guns disapeard

maybe if you say sorry and ask nicely, i will put them background

“holy' said toaster waffles nervously

“just wait” said holly

she kicked a wooden crate and picked up one of the shards, aiming it carefully it shot into one of there hearts, this one fell backwards but just stood back up and pulled it out

five ran ahead.

Holly fought against them and toaster waffles teleported, but the invincible cowd dogdged and swerved

“ok, ok im sorry” said toaster waffles as one grabbed his leg and twisted it

“aaaaaaaahhhhh” he yelled as his twisted leg made a horible crack

alright, thats half

A strange bubble covered toaster waffles and the vampires backed away from it

The vampires surrounded holly

“holly,just say sorry for gods sake”

“just wait, im almost done” said holly

Holly pulled out another butchers knife and stabbed three vapires, they all just shook of the damage

“alright alright”

what do you say?

“can you please get rid of the vampires”

what else, starts with 's' and rymes with 'porry'

“alright then, story”

nope, wrong words

“just say sorry holly”

“ssssssssssssssssss”

holy began

“oooooooooooooo'

“rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

“yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-”

“just say it holly”

“i havent finished yet yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”

“ok, sorry”

good

the vampires disapeard

“now help us find Arthur and Stephan”

i will, but first you need to find chupo

“why not Arthur first?”

aaaaaaaaaaaww, dont you want to save chupo? chupos so cute!

'i didn'tmean that... i..... just thought that, well we could save chupo later”

uh uh, im not going to help you find arthur or stephan until you find chupo

“why?”

more narratively convenient

“where is chupo?”

i dont know, why would i?

“because your an author” said toaster waffles

“that makes you like god doesn't it?”

“oh come on, im still not convinced that he actually is the author, maybe some sort of supernatural god but were not in a book”

“i can sort of feel chupo” said toaster waffles

“my teleportation connects me to the worlds essence bank so its like i know were everyone is, also chupo is a mutated mishap, his origins are unatural like mine so that connects us even more”

ooooooooooooohhh, toaster waffles and chupo are cooneeeeeecteeeeed

“you can probably leave now” said holly

ok then, maybe the professor will appreciate my talents better

Cochane wierdenstrange lived in a large house outin the 'country' in the small town of gotrain. The word countryo was highly overstated for the humid dusty country still had views of the polluted mertropolis a few km away. The town of gotrain is a still developing valley were the arcitechs obviously were at one point fans of sci fi shows were realities collide. So around the corner from little italy a few metres away from china town and behind the well mimicked streets of L.A cochane wierdenstrange was an architect. Every day he would head off to work. he was working on a new section gotrain that he called 'the super suburb' apart fro its excedingly lame name he has worked many hours on it the small section will be a futuristic based city.

One day he awoke and found himself even more inthusiastic, he wanted to get up and go to work. �

He walked out his fine house and took a nice detour threw the park.

As he walked, he happend to pass a little mayfly, a particuly marvelous mayfly, and the mayfly sang:

oooh, ooooooooooh, oh yes im a mayfly, hurray thats me 

''Im part dragon fly and bumble bee ''

''My legs are a wrigling, me wings aflight ''

''Not like those firefly dorks, the one with the lights ''

''Me mothers a croc, me dad a kite ''

''so that leaves me with a ferocious snout, and the gift of fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight ''

''

''

''Me am a mayfly, mayfly mayfly ''

''you not a mayfly, mayfly mayfly ''

''unless your a mayfly, mayfly mayfly ''

''goodbye to all you mayflyyyyyyyyyyyyys ''

''

''

''(mayfly jumps on numerous objects and uses them as different instruments, playing a tune that is undescribable for i cannot write music and probably neither can you, unless your some form of grandma or just a music freak) ''

''

''

im a soaring threw the sky, threw the scorching sun

playing with the badgers, having loads of fun

watching the news, politicians are really dumb

thats what i diid today, now this verse is doooooooooone

me an a mayfly, mayfly, mayfly

you not a mayfly, mayfly,mayfly

unless your a mayfly, mayfly mayfly

mmmmmaaaaaaaaaaayyyfffffffflyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

(nemerous bugs jump in and sing final note)

not really, that didn't actuallly happen

Cochanes phone rang one of those dull tunesand he picked pulled it out of his pocket, smoothly flicking the top part open.

it was a text

wlk twrds th bg mpl tr

confused, he tried inserting vowels

wolk tawurds thu miple tri

not right

walk towards the maple tree

thats better

''strange ''

he thought to himself, he looked around and sure enough a large maple tree stood ten meters away from him

he stroled towards it looking around for a sign for anyone

Just as he was ready toleave he heard a loud crack and a throbing pain in his arm

“aaaaaaaaaaaahhh” he yelled

a cracked flower pot lay broken at his feet

His mobile phone beeped again and he opened it angrily

hahahahahahaha lol :)

from deep blue

Hi slammed the phone shut and looked up the top of the tree, whoever this deep blue is, there probably at the top of the tree, tricking people into getting hit by flower pots

no one was there

the only thing looming over the tree was a tall street lamp

he rubbed his arm and walked off to his work building

At the building he worked a little on his computer until he received a rather strange email, itsaid:

look out the window

-deep blue

rather than walk to the window and risk another flower pot, he merely glanced in the general direction. And just as he suspected, a large cinder block rushed past the window

Hahahahahaha

who are you?

he typed into the computer

deep blue it replied

''im the computer ''

''and your professor wierdenstrange ''

''i have been watching you for a while, ever since that author traped us here ''

what, author?

''yes ''

''he tried to make us all forget, give the chapter a twist,but it doesn't work on computers, and like amnesia, you can remember ''

''i got bored wating for him to show up and narrate your life, so i decided to make flower pots fall oon your head ''

if your just a computer system, how can you throw flower pots

''did you notice the lamp post? i used it to throw it at you ''

''but the authors back now, hes watching us right now, so are his readers ''

whos the Author?

''an author, duh! were all inside a book ''

we are not! i can hardly believe that

''believe it or not, its true ''

''what do you remember of your life ''

cochane wierdenstrange recounted a quick over view of his whole life

''none of its true, try to remember, Arthur, Holly, Stephan, the vampirical hunter academy, vampires ''

the sentence proded some resemblance but he still couldn't remembered

''Chupo Your part merman ''

that pushed the instinct of resemblance to tipping pointt and the professor remembered

“I can remember” he said

Toaster waffles flew a few feet ahead of holly,they were roaming a dark alley

“toaster waffles, weve been traacking him for hours, are you sure he is near?' said holly

“yes,yes,yes,yes,yes, chupo is near, i no it for a fact, its just he's a little faster than us, i dont think he likes the smell of us or something, because of certain he's purposly avoiding us”

They walked a little while longer, the alley was dark and damp. Turned oveer rubbish bins gave it a messy look and demolished buildings added a touch of hauntedness.

Holly kicked aside a shared shrimp from a turned over bucket. Shrimp are a very interesting species, there is in fact a whole universe ocupied intirely by shrimp

'shrimp here, shrimp there, i see shrimp everywhere' a famous shrimp poet once wrote, and was later found out that he was hiped up on the shrimpish drug barbecue bugsolat. Many on Earth are in fact dead shrimp from the universe. “your not carrying some formmof monkey repelant are you?” said toaster waffles

“as faras i am aware, no” she said

“unless”she emptied her pockets “a hankerchief, chewd gum, a paperclip or greasy napkins repell monkeys”

“well the hankerchief, gum and napkins probably dont, but has chupo ever been beaten by paperclips, they could be bringing back bad memories”

A small, fast silouett ran along a pipe above them

“i think thats him” said Holly

“see, i told you he was near”

They ran up a rusty ramp into an old abandoned jail

“acording to my excedingly acurate intuition, this abandoned jail is the exact same one that one hundred years ago todaya coule went missing and have said to have been haunting the building ever since”

“ok, thats really lame” said Holly

“what is?” said Toaster waffles

“oh, one hundred years ago today, missing couples, ghosts, ooooooooooooooooohhh”

“it might be a little”

Holly turned to see two transperant beings floating in front of her

“gaaaaaahhh” holly triped over

“i told you it was haunted” said toaster waffles

“sorry” said the female ghost

“my name is sarah, this is gorden” said the ghost, gesturing towards her boyfriend

Holly stood up

“its okay, i just tend to get a frights when ghosts in an abandoned buildings jump right in front me,call me wierd”

“okay wierd” said sarrah

“shes been dead for a while, she doesn't really get sarcasm” said gorden

sarah ignored gordens comment and ran upto shake Holly an Toaster wafflees hand

'eeeeewww” said Toaster waffles

“my hands covered in translucent ectoplasm blood”

“oopss” said sarah “thats mine'

“exactly how did you die?” asked Holly

“oh” said sarah “its quite a funny story actually”

“i was running away from gorden who was folowing me, i ran here to lose him but he folowed be. When he caught up tome he stabbed me and then stabed himself”

Now that hollly concentrated, she saw a large stab wound in both there chests

“why?' Holly said to Gorden

he shrugged

“i was a psychopathic stalker, murderer”

“but then shouldn't you hate him for killing you?” said Holly

“well at first yes, but then after a hundred years of getting to know him, i started to really like him” said sarrah

“plus” said gorden “ever since i became a ghost for some odd and unexplaned reason im not crazy”

“its also a little hard not to talk to someone if there the only person there, i cant help making friends”

“bye” said the ghosts and they disapeard

Holly and Toaster waffles spotted the same shadow and ran after it. The shadow senced there presence and ran away.Toaster waffles and Holly ran after him unil the small creatue ran inside a small hole in the wall

“how do we get him now?” asked Holly

“i could use my teleporty- thingy to teleport us in” said Toaster waffles

“what if the space inside the wall is to little for us?” asked Holly

“uuuuuhhhhhhhh, well either the teleport thingy will know better than to teleport us there or well be crushed to death”

“so theres a fifty-fifty chance we will die?” said Holly

“not fifty fifty” said Toaster waffles “the space in the wall might be big enough for us anyway, so probably theres a twenty out of one hundred chance, well, for you anyway, im probably small enough to fit either way”

“ok, you can just teleport yourself so there isn't a risk at all” said holly

“ok” said toaster waffles

he jabbed himself in the legs and apeard about five seconds later inside a small pipe

he crawled along until he came to a small damp nest

Small spotted eggs lay inside it

as he attempted to cross, a mother bird jumped on him and attempted to peck his back off

“ggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, get away you stupid bird” he teleported the the bird a few meters away and he crawled away

He saw chupo ran ahead of him

an idea struck toaster waffles

“well i guess if your going to run away, you can't haave these bananas”

chup stoped

“yes, thats right,some nice bananas”

Chupo walked slowly towards him

“yes,yes,yes nice bananas”

chupo ran to him and jumped in his arms

“there you go” he said

First he teleported chupo out side and next him.

As he looked around he noticed Holly wasn't there

“hello?” he said

as he turned darkness covered his vision as he was teleported

Toster waffles opened his eyes and was chained up against a wall with arthur, stephan, the professor, chupo, holly,and a computer USB.

hahahahaha you have fallen into my trap

“who is that” said Arthur

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh, the roof is tickly” said stephan

“how did you get here?” sked toaster waffles

“i dont know, we just suddenly apeard here

“strange”' said toaster waffles

“odd” said Arthur

“but excedingly common”

uuuum hello, main bad guy in the chapter here

“you sound like the author”

yes, i am

“then why have you chained us against a wall”

because i am the other author

“more than one author?” said Arthur

Hi

oh hi

what are you doing

writing my chapter

cool, whos the bad guy?

uuuuuuuuuummm, uuuuuuuuuuuuhhh, you

what me?

yes

why?!?

because i wanted to give the chapter an unusual twist

but you can't do that without asking me first!

course i can

no you can't

oh yeah, well just try and stop me!

fthvuzsishbseurthcezeybkzvybusuirtjksvzyheiusihk

get your hand off the keyboard!

i am so gay

i am so gay

i am so gay

i am so gay

i am so gay

stop typing that im gay!

only if you stop writing about me being a bad guy! do i go around making you a bad guy in my chapters!

im going to prove that im a good guy!

“is this conversation going anywhere?” said arthur

shut up!

suddenly every one was free

stop writing on my chapter!

oooowwwww!!! dont punch me!

and they were once again on the unknown zone

stop it!!

oh, and it was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallll a dream.